Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Priscilla goes missing for several weeks, and then her blog shuts down almost entirely, except for a few words and the picture of the hairless kitten. What could have happened--on both counts?

Priscilla Goes Missing

Well, to be perfectly honest, I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with this computer. I want to use it, but I don't particularly like spending any amount of time on the thing.

Part of this paradox stems from the fact that, in the first through third grades, my elementary school conducted regular "H-Bomb Preparedness Exercises." These were the golden days of childhood innocence, when a teacher could still smack an occasional heiny and we all believed that ducking under our little desks and covering our heads with our hands could protect us from nuclear detonation directly over Pinebarrens Public #4. In short, this was a long, long, long time ago. Let's face it, Priscilla is approaching old age rapidly, and modern technology has slipped from her grasp like a glistening toad on an August evening.

"OK children! Under your desks!
Eddie! Stop laughing! This is SERIOUS!"

My kids know everything about computers--absorbed the knowledge transdermally. They even managed to teach Mom basic HTML and talk me into a more interactive enjoyment of the Internet (thus this blog). But for most of my life, personal computers weren't around or weren't easily usable by the average person. Windows changed everything for everyone everywhere, but all of my formative years and young adult life were spent in a time when the world ran a bit slower and more methodically than it does today. Time has been flying by me with ever-increasing speed in the past few years. I'm sure this time distortion is experienced by almost every person approaching seniorhood, probably because we never quite adjust to the social and technological changes of the passing decades.

In summation, I want an instant weather report each day, but I don't want to miss Judge Judy at 5:00pm. I want to know how to translate "Oh, get down on all fours and munch grass!" into French, Spanish and German, but I don't want to read stories about the stock market or computer hackers. I want to read my daughters' online journals, but I have a hard time accepting their risk-taking behaviors in this endeavor. I want to be able to make my own greeting cards, but I don't want to take the time to learn any more about C*relDraw than I already know. I want to have my own blog, but not at the expense of my work, recreation or sleep schedules. I want online friends, but none who will be disappointed if I toodle off to parts unknown for a few days now and then. And I never, never, never want to traverse that vast wasteland known as "chat rooms" again! *!shudder!*

Most of all, I don't want to feel any of my remaining time in this physical form is being squandered on staring owl-eyed at a monitor and tapping away at a keyboard for hours at a time while there are outside squirrels teasing my inside cats at the big glass door to our back yard.

Priscilla's Blog Shuts Down

This could have been caused by any number of things:

  • solar flares,

  • a Diet Coke spilled into my hard drive,

  • TastyKake crumbs migrating into my hard drive

  • a hacker who hates grannies and pets,

  • an accidental "delete this blog" keystroke,

  • a Blogger employee throwing a hissy fit over his/her annual raise and tampering with the product,

  • Priscilla's children tampering with the product (hey--you've all seen what they do!),

  • the Internet becoming self-aware on 1-20-2007 and planning domination or destruction of all mankind,

  • the Internet belching,

  • tectonic plate slippage, or

  • just some damned thing or other.
Fortunately, Daughter #l knows more than everything about fixing glitches and gaffes in online publications, and she fixed my blog this afternoon. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am happy to be back here and prattling away, but I would like to hear from any of you who also love/hate your equipment or are afraid of being
enslaved by computers and/or the Internet. Do any of you feel compromised by having to spend time updating your blogs or by getting lost in site hopping because the Internet is a bottomless ocean? Let me know.